The Death Eaters Spare Time
by sailor-elsa
Summary: What do the Death Eaters do in their spare time? Your about to find out. Crack!fic   Not to be take siriusly  intended.


**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER : )  
>^ ALL CAPS FTW<strong>

**I've read all of those Harry Potter drabbles, that are hilarious, I might add. **

**So I decided to make my own. Alas, I created this. Which is just a bunch of related short drabbles. Some might be longer then others. **

**Since I lurve the deatheaters, I've decided to make fun of them- because we all know we make fun of those we love. **

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><p>Death Eater weren't usually that bad. Except for this one; Voldemort blamed Bellatrix. Usually the Death Eater slumber parties were in control. Bellatrix was the one who decided to bring the "firewhiskey."<p>

So now it was chaos. Avery was braiding lucius's hair, Nott was dancing with a broomstick, Rudolphus was whining about Bellatrix loving Voldemort more, Bellatrix and Narcissa were giggling in the corner, Snape was screaming at a shampoo bottle, Dolohov was trying to crucio a chair, and the Carrows' were just being creepy (As usual). Voldemort, was swaying back and forth trying to keep his balance.

"Mi-lord!" Bellatrix yelled from the corner. "This slumber party is kin-DA boring... we should... we should, cissy?" Bellatrix slurred, looking at her sister for the answer. Narcissa swayed over and fell down, straight on her face. "MY FACE! The carpet is smothering, MY FACE!" She screamed.

"W-WE should prank call a person!" Lucius yelled over Narcissa's screams. ("Lucius, save me the carpet... is trying to kill MY FACE!")

"LET US call Albus Dumble-dork!" Nott stopped dancing with the broomstick.

"That's a gur-REAT idea!" Voldemort agreed. "You are a genius Nott; a beautiful genius." He moved closer to Nott and stroked his hair. "Such a bea-u-ti-ful genius." He whispered, "so beautiful."

"Did you hear that trixy!" Nott cheered.

"_Crucio!" _Bellatrix bellowed. Nott fell to the ground screaming.

"BELLA LOVES VOLDEMORT MORE THEN ME!" Rudolphus sobbed.

Dolohov stopped trying to crucio the table. "Why dosen't that work for me!" He screamed, he turned his wand back to the table; unknowingly the tip was pointed at him. "_CRUCIO!" _He fell to the ground screaming.

"Guyss, shut u-P I'm gonna call Dumblydoor!" Voldemort giggled. The room got quiet and Avery finally finished Lucius's hair. Voldemort stood up and grabbed Snape's phone. He looked at Narcissa who was still face first on the floor, not moving. "Someone check if she's alive."

Lucius ran to her and tripped over her.

"Ow!" She giggled, turning around.

"She's alive!" Lucius called.

"Don't mess up your braid Lucius!" Avery scolded.

"Okay, can I call Dumb-bell-dork now?" Voldemort sighed, the phone still in his hand. The deatheaters nodded. Voldemort dialed Dumbledore's phone number and let it ring.

"Hello?" An unusual cheerful voice said on the other side. Voldemort paused; he hadn't thought of anything to prank him about. He put his hand over the phone and turned to the Death Eaters. "What do I say?"

"Pizza Delivery!"

"A free subscrpition to _Dark Magic Weekly_!"

"Porn!"

Voldemort put the phone back to his ear, and said in an extremly high voice. "Hi this is...Clementine. I just wanted to tell you that we can't deliever your porn this week."

"Oh, that's a shame." Dumbledore sounded deflated. "I was looking foward to it."

All the Death Eaters stifled a laugh. "I- yes, well maybe we'll have it next week."

"Good, then perhaps you can look at it with me, Voldemort." Dumbledoor added. Dumbledore hung up leaving Voldemort speechless. He looked at the Death Eaters who were staring at him with wide eyes.

No one spoke a word.

"I-I thought you did a good impression m-milord." Bellatrix blurted. Nudging her Narcissa who nodded very seriously.

"Well, Dumbledore just takes the fun out of everything." Voldemort pouted.

"Shall we kill people now?" Alecto Carrow asked.

"T-That'd be nice." Amycus agreed.

"Let's start with this blasted shampoo bottle!" Snape bellowed throwing the bottle across the room.

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><p><em>Review pur-lease <em>

_May not be my funniest :/ _

_I'll try to make the next one funnier. _


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